What Goes around; Comes around...

'Hand'some's hand

2008-08-09T22:06:00.008+08:00

Currently busy study for the finals' finals' semester...
studying EGE 218 till half way and but my mind wasn't get under control..
trying to solder a fluorescent lamp's wire to a square plug 3 pins adaptor for the pcb baking machine. So after exam i can continue bake some pcb..

while cutting the god damn cable with my scissor... my hand slipped, and the scissor stabbed into my palm..
"aaah.. Fxxx!". I saw my blood spilled out gradually on the floor and all over my hand, the wound was exact the width of the scissor around 1cm, and the depth was.. omg! 2cm.. damn pain!

therefore, i ran to washroom. lift up my hand on the basin and i crouch down on the floor. as i still remember from the knowledge of first aid i learn from st. john ambulance. leave ur wound higher than ur heart would help to reduce the blood flowing rate.
"argh.. im so careless."

my mom walked by, she saw and she screamed!
she spalshes some water on my wash to wash over the blood. without visit doctor, she help me clean up the blood on my hand and cover my wound with a "plaster". swt... this is big wound.. not scratches..

later on.. i only found out that my house don even have any first aid kit.. wtf! only plaster.
as i remember my car got 1 first aid box, then i cover the wound again myself... at least it looks "nicer" than a plaster.. haha

2 days later, i thought the blood stop bleeding means it is okay already.
But its not...

what happen?

better scroll down quick if u scared.. :-P

I believe that the inner muscle were injured too where the skin already covered. Meaning, insdie still bleeding and there is no place for the blood to flow out and so they stuck at the layer between skin and muscle.

"my hand is so handsome!"

The wound had recovered, it leaves a small scar. but the wound insdie is still "unknown"..

Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away

2008-07-16T13:31:00.002+08:00

By David Wygant Special to Yahoo!
Article on : Dating Tips

You're dating a guy, and it's the crucial first few weeks. You really like this guy, and you're wondering what you can do (or avoid doing) to keep this relationship going and not scare him away.

The truth is there are certain things that women can do that will scare men away. Don't sabotage a potentially great relationship that could have gone somewhere by scaring a man off right at the beginning.

Here are six dating behaviors guaranteed to scare men off that all women should avoid:

1. Trash-talking your ex. Don't talk negatively about an ex-boyfriend in front of a guy you're dating. I don't care if you're on your first date or on your 15th date with a guy, don't ever trash-talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent a lot of time. So don't talk negatively about your ex in any way, because what a guy thinks when you do this is that if he ever becomes your ex that you're going to trash-talk him the same way. So, when a man asks you about your ex, you can politely say, "We are no longer together. It was a great relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot." That's it.

2. Paranoia Runs Rampant. Here you are dating a man you really like, and the first couple of weeks are going well. Then, that first boys' night out happens. In the beginning, you send him a text that says, "Have a great time tonight!" As the night progresses, however, seeds of doubt start forming in your mind about what he's doing, and you start to think "Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting with other women? Where is he right now?" So then, you lob another text in to him asking "What's going on? What are you doing right now?" Even though he tells you he's just hanging out with his friends, you proceed to make a major blunder:
You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away. So when you are dating a man and he's out with his friends, respect his "guy time" -- it will make you the cool woman he's always wanted to find.

3. Trash-talking other women. A huge mistake many women make is trash-talking other women in front of the man they're dating. For example, you are out with him when a woman walks by wearing a skimpy short skirt. You say, "Look how promiscuous that woman looks! I can't believe she is going around in public like that!" What you are doing when you make comments like this to a guy you're dating is telling him that you're not confident in the way you look. It tells him that you don't love who you are and haven't embraced your own body. You are planting a seed of doubt in him, causing him to wonder if he he should date someone else who is more confident (and tolerant). Don't trash-talk other women. It makes you look really insecure.

4. Fishing for compliments. This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here is a typical scenario: The guy you're dating looks at you and says, "You really look beautiful tonight!" Ten minutes later, you look at him and ask, "How do I look tonight?" Stop fishing for compliments. Real compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you when we really mean it. If we don't give a compliment at the exact moment you desire it, just accept it and be OK with that.

5. Clingy and possessive. You don't need to do everything together. You're still getting to know him. If there are things he likes to do that simply don't interest you, be cool with it. You don't have to be joined at the hip. If you are going to a cocktail party together, you don't have to be next to him at every moment. If you see him speaking with some woman at the party, do not immediately run over and start grabbing his hand and giving him a big hug -- and certainly don't do this all night long. You are being clingy and possessive when you do this.

6. Pushing friends on him. Avoid pushing friends on us too soon. Example: A woman will hang out with a guy on the first or second date and say to him, "You have to meet my friends Jenna and Amy. You also have to meet my friends Phil and Anne; they're such a great couple, and you'll love them!" A man hears this and thinks, "I don't even know you yet. Can I get to know you for a month or two before I have to go meet all of your friends and be put on display as 'the boyfriend?'" We don't want to be "the boyfriend" right away. It's too much pressure. We want to get to know you slowly and learn what you're all about. Believe me, once we get to know you -- and like you -- we will be more willing to get to know all of your friends.

Following these tips will help you get past the first month of a new relationship with a man and avoid some of the major pitfalls that can end a new relationship before it even starts. Be the confident woman you really are so we have a chance to embrace you. Don't scare us off before we have a chance to get to know you!

This article is Awesome!!

Caffeine for the Boredom

2008-07-15T02:35:00.003+08:00

Haha, its 2.30am. I'm preparing my 2nd test paper for MGT in another 6 hours. **gulp**

1 more stack of notes to "swallow".. but now can't concentrate.
Anti-caffeine, wat else can i do now?

so i simply surf in google with the words of "强奸"!!

HaHa, see wat i found! pasted at below...

“老板!”

　　老板抬起头，是个妖娆的女子，香水味立即弥漫全店。

　　“来三十盒普通套。”她嚼着口香糖把几张钞票扔到了柜台上。

　　老板看了看她，“要三百块，你这才两百。”

　　她很是不屑：“##，少跟我来这套，我可是批发，都这价知道不?你这几盒赚四十，可以了。”

　　既然对方是行家，也没什么可说的了，老板一边取套，一边问她：“这么多你得用多长时间啊。”

　　她掏出镜子补妆，有些得意：“两个月，我客人最多。”

　　老板叹道：“你工作强度可真够大的。”

　　她不乐意：“怎么说话呢你?换句。”

　　老板哦了一声：“你可真敬业。”

　　她满意地点点头。

　　老板拿起两张百元钞票看了一下，一张没水印，递给她：“这张是假的。”

　　她叫了起来：“假的?妈的又被强奸了。”

Like that oso count 强奸?? :-P

Coffee in the night

2008-07-06T01:14:00.007+08:00

Recently was so busy with my work load and project presentation. no matter how busy, though i tried done it with my best. its getting more n more accurate about my perception on this words "wat goes around comes around", its true! i actually din sleep well for these couple weeks and rushing out my assignments and preparing for presentation. 4-5am everyday...
after gone through all the tough time, i smiled.. wats wrong? hehe, happy when you felt satisfy of your hardwork rite, the so called syok sendiri :-P. surprisingly, i felt all the hardwork i've done is worthy, praise god! all the bitterness i've endured, sweetness after it!
i had also join back my night music school for my guitar after a tiring 8hours class in school.. attended my club project meeting most of the sunday evening.. gosh..
where i reli don even have a chance to update my post. >.<

Anyway, its 1.42am now. again im still crawling out from the BS.. just wake up from a short nap since 9pm. still consider short? haha.. so now wanna continue type the moral class's assignment. before the work, let me have some mental refreshment 1st. checked my friendster, facebook, and bitefight (browser games, nice!) ...

once open frenster, i saw the ads beside was so match with my frequency now. felt like someone asking me, "billy, you want some coffee?".

i just wake up and haven't get rid of the sleepiness.. hahaha. i look at the ads, doubted myself "do i need a coffee?".

result is......

hehe, i took the matta fair free eh door gift packet n tried.

nowadays the webpage advertising are so convenient yet powerful where a simple design of it and dealt with the correct timing could able waste my hot water and coffee packet.

*Cheers for the coffee*

District 308 B2 Leo Forum 2008 - Part 3

2008-06-13T23:50:00.019+08:00

Like i promised, the Bazaar Hat Picture! - PG City ROX

Alright Part 3, here comes the second day morning or Leo Forum. The real Opening Ceremony was held at Heritage Hotel ballroom. Probably this whole day is mostly can be mentioned as awards giving day. Where DC will be giving out most of the Outstanding and Merit awards after opening ceremony, then all the Top awards during banquet night. Nothing to say much about the opening ceremony, haha because it is usually damn boring. Speech by orang besar, den started the "snoring" orchestra. As a committee of Leo Forum, Too bad i can't join them. Yet, i have wear blazer *panas!* and take care of the stage support. Haha, but since i already committed to be a committee - for the first time; also first time attending forum - so be it! Do my best on this job.
So we have the Awards presentation for Outstandings from 2pm to 4pm. Speak proudly, My club gets quite a number of awards, Congratulate and Thanks to every single one of you for your effort on your hard work on this club!! Else, i won't have this opportunity to "show off" in my blog. Hahaha

The one and Only pictures of us - with awards!

After that, My Asst. Sec Royblin juz send me few text asked about tonight awards.
Well, since afternoon we've already get so much award d; during tonight's banquet Top awards sure very low possibility of winning ler.
This is what i told him, but in my heart im pretty sure he is going to "grab" few of them tonight! Maybe is me too ego on the results, so i tell him in a kinda negative way. A way of reducing disappointment.
About myself? Actually i kinda nervous; some of my club's member keep telling me that i will win, but i felt like Region 3 & 4 got a lot of competitors who have much more experience. stronger than me a lot. But think back, well i ain't that bad oso what. Haha Then these statement keep bouncing in my head; heart beat getting faster. Like i said during first post, I felt so damn nervous about this Forum!

Anyway, put aside my personal issue first. Job of committee comes first, so i juz went back to my scary 413 again, bath and prepare for the banquet night. Haha! Changed my shirt, wear back the stinky blazer and pants, and comb a "curry-puff" head :-P
My job now is controlling the PA system, playing those funny sound effects, and eat! Its kinda busy even in the grand, luxurious, formal dinner.
Anyway, its quite a tough work for me :-P The mixers, fuh yoh... headahce!

As usual, it started with few speech by orang besar then dance performance & etc.
After the dinner commences, Lion Allan planned the evil idea to make the crowd felt panic about the Top awards. Hahahaha! He will be taking over the job of MC during Top awards presentation, BUT when he speak to invites DC Lion Ong to come up stage as award presentation... DC dissapeared!?! Actually its all his plan who asked us to lead DC to back stage and act as the result for Top awards tonight is "unknown?". Then he asked Bliana & Samuel to go back to Hotel and search for DC - with wireless video camera followed! So everyone seated that night will see whats happening at hotel when Bliana & Samuel searcing & entered DC Ong's room! Hahaha *a lot of Panties & Bras*
Later, the short clip finished and Samual & Bliana brought DC Ong back to our side! Then, He announced some Top awards. Finally, Congratulate to Royblin, Fish Ooi & Ryan Ch'ng, I knew you all will win!! Heh heh
After that, filled in with several performace and games. *another DiGi reload coupons* :-P

At Last, finally reached the time to announe the Top Secretary. Argh, i cant breathe but i know that i'm doing. I'm eating the fried prawns! Haha, So tasty and i juz keep taking & munching. Im pretty sure that i must be too afraid to know the results, keep avoiding myself. Didn;t even listening to the MC. Suddenly Cheng Yee tapped my shoulder if not mistaken, den Fiona asked me to go up!
What? Mai siao la! Is it me? How could it be! No, u joking? Den i see everyone face kinda excited & looking at me! OMG, I still munching my prawns and everyone looking at me munching. Swt, i'll just "kam" diao the prawn and walk up to the stage! *wish got a glass of goddamn water!*
Honestly, at that moment I'm totally blank! But i remembered i hug & kissed you Fiona. I'm glad to be happy that you are with me!

Me with Curry-Puff head & Prawn-in-mouth

Okay, enough for the small character. Now is the time to announce the Top President! Woo hoo.. Everybody tonight is so damn "High". As i still remember what from MC..
"Wah, Penang people really sapu all r. This time He/She is also from north Malaysia.."
"Ladies and gentlemen, the Top Omega President for 2008 District 308 B2 Leo Forum is..."
"Congratulation to Leo Fiona Lee from Penang (City)!!"
Wooo hooo! Cheer for you! Big big Hug! Muackssss..
So she won!

I won U won - The Copy Cat :-P

Later, the Top Omega Leo Club award announcement. In a sudden & I'm eating the dessert (Smth like Ice Blended), the results comes out...
it is...
Wow!! Us again!

Our whole club juz ran up! ROAR!

The happiest-Family-pic of the day

Leo Club of Penang City-ty-ty-ty-ty-ty.. Fuh Yoh!

After we become superstars, turned red in a night & taken so much glory photo at the stage; I actually noticed that Choon Keat bought 2 Champaign/Sparkling juice already! Omg,He thought we confirm win liao eh and buy pien pien during the banquet started! We cheers for our glory and shout throughout the night. *Seriously i no voice after that*

Toast~~ for the Glory of Top Club

Yammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Seng!

Another Pic of Happy Family

Hehe, after we had so much joy, fun, laughter & cheers for the awards. Dry up the glass of champaign. Here comes the climax of the night!
Tables and chairs push aside, everybody get to the dance floor. Some even go up stage and taking pictures with their clubs. So, It's time to Shake, Break & Shuffle! DiGi Celebriteens lit up the atmosphere and gather all the crowds dancing in the middle. So hot, Woo Hoo!

The "shakin" Leo Idol 08~

Leo Alan, next time graduate open club ok? haha

Hot Chick! Haha. So guys, interested to join LEO? :-P

Hahaha, teen those day are really headache LOL. But its common when parents are not at home, and they are not under supervision. haHa haHA~ Evil Laughter, I'm one of them! :-P

So the next day, at time 12pm we'll just checked out the Hotel. Travel back to Penang safely at 4pm. And Posted this Blog now~!

This Forum is so damn damn dang FUN! Best Forum Ever. *Eventhough i'm so nervous about it :-P*
Okay, honestly i've been typing this post for 4hours long. Gosh! 4.18am!
Maybe the uploading of photos consume a certain period.

Well, like my blog's title said : What Goes around; Comes around.
1 will always equal to 1;
How much you've put in, that is how much you will Gain!

I Love L.E.O.!

District 308 B2 Leo Forum 2008 - Part 2

2008-06-07T01:10:00.044+08:00

Here comes the part 2 of Leo Forum 2008, present to you by BilLy. haha

Previous post i've stopped at the Fellowship Night, the night where we all "siao" kao kao 1. During that post i've mentioned to "settle" this Leo Forum by the next day. But i didn't make it, Why??
Haha, I failed to arrange my schedule where suddenly comes a lot (3) of things for me to do.

Sister Club VS DC

Friday night, I went over to Bukit Genting for my club's celebration dinner for this term's awards. Well, Its a very nice outing and we'd enjoyed the Thai food damn much! okay about the awards, i will mention later in this post; be patient >.< Shown as pic above..

I thought after Friday it would be a "greeny" day for me to part 2. Again of the word "but", I need to study for my test on monday. Geesh! i can choose to finish the post first then only continue revise, but i failed in focusing! When i having test or smth important waiting me to do, i cant enjoy posting blog or any other entertainments. Just felt like something "stuck" in ur mind, so i study first :-P
Okay, here comes Sunday final day to prepare. Alamak! i got BOD & project meeting at 6pm at Club House. Shit, i need to go out by 5.15pm. You know, my house is far. I woke at 12pm, 5 hours free time, minus bath, cook, and even feed my dog since my parent not at home! left 3 hours. So i decided to bring out my notes and study during meeting. :- ( But i still couldn't make it. Too much things to discuss at meeting. Haha Kok & Stanley, there is no doubt that you still see me studying at Old Town, New World Park after meeting.
Thousands of sorry for the late post.

Cheng Cheng cheng.. The Stage!

Fellowship Night - Starlight Night. We'll enjoy our Leo Idol Grand Final District Competition 08, Performance by Artist & Digi Celebriteen, Malaysia Idol and Foot Loose!
Us, the Leo Club of Penang (City) decided to wear our Trademark's Hat the so called "Bazaar Hat", and attended the buffet dinner. Hope will get from others about those pics with our hat and post it up here. This night, We'll gonna have a lot of crazy funny things.

First crazy thing, Cheer and Shout for Jason in the District Leo Idol! He is the champion of Leo Idol 08 of Region 1 & 2, and the representatives of my club in this competition. Woo hoo!

See thats our Bazaar Hat!

Haha, Fa Liang.. Don't get too excited. You juz "bang-ed" PCC Ellis!

Jason!
Jason!
Jason!
JJ Lin Jun Jie!

You can do it!

Second crazeee thing, Games!! Wakakaka. Push aside the table and chairs. Lets dance and have fun throughout the night! Times to play games. Who can Shout out "Fuhh~ Yohh~~" able to win a prize of DiGi reload cards RM70! OmG, I WANT!

Fiona shout : Fuh Yoh~~

Okay, Laugh the others except Fiona! :-P

Okay, the third crazy thing. We'll just get until so hot and wanna do a summersault / head spin. Hope i can one day, swt. It started with a couple of songs by Dave - Quen Nan Bang, Digi Celebriteen, then by Danny Wen Li Ming, & I-Admire-most Malaysia Idol 1st Runner-up Dina! Woooo hooo! Their performance that night is just so damn gay & nice! I felt like I'm in da World Class Concert now...

DiGi Celebriteens

Danny One : Wo Bu Xiang Yao~~
*Don force me to sing here~*

Direct-Translated!

Dina, You ROCKs!

Finally, the last crazy thing of the night! Foot Loose, everybody dance! Dance floor ready, Hot music please DJ..
DJ/MC Baki : now, Everybody back to the dance floor! Put your hand in the air!

DG & DC oso High liao...

Okay, Stop here again. Its 2am! Gosh...

To be Continued~

District 308 B2 Leo Forum 2008 - Part1

2008-06-05T23:36:00.026+08:00

Forum is Meant to be HAPPY!
Taken at fellowship night. Erm...whose hand is that?

This event did makes me feel damn nervous, lol! I think some of the non-Leo peoples doesn't know what is this. Okay, let me explain before i share with you all how Craze I am.
Leo Forum is a gathering event of all leo members in the whole district 308 B2, probably whole Malaysia. The main objectives of leo forum is to meet new friends, improve fellowship among Regions & Annual Leo awards recognition to all the Leos. It's like a 3 days 2 night "Oscar type" event for Leo. Haha, my only way of defining it.

Okay, lets say whats is going on! I'm one of the Forum Organizing Committee, where im taking care of the Forum Kit. Person who in charge of forum T shirt, bags, souvenir programs, stationary, name tags, and even the free coffee packet of door gift to all the Leo Forum delegates. Long huh, my job.. Ai zai la.. :-P
So i'd been busy all the while since Jan, the first meeting of Leo forum until now! I'll had to seek for various quotations for each of the material, after that hand up on meeting to let committee compare the price. Then go and do the design of t shirt, bags, name tag... etc argh. Then pass it to the vendors and wait them publish / sew / mould / do it. Fuh yoh!

Meanwhile, April 15 is the due date for leo recommendation award application. Its like an appeal for awards to get recognition on your hardwork. I'm the Secretary of the club, where i'm the one who bear up the responsibilities to write the goddamn long recommendation form as well as all the project and activities completed reports... Well, i can choose not to type it and just to give up like that. But i heart-soft ma, what to do. Haha! So i'll just rushing up the whole stack of recommendation form and reports, compile it, comb binding, put cover, & drive to DC office and hand it to her personally. Can you believe that my forms and reports after compiling got 500 pages? dictionary!

Wow! thats me & ryan during the meeting. Ln Alan look at cam pulak.

Okay! enough for the fussy talk on the preparation of Leo forum. Lets talk back on me. Its 29 April 08, time where im suppose to reach Ipoh to attend the pre-Forum meeting. How i go?
So i decided not to drive, but to follow Lion Ong's car as this decision could reduce a lot of envy-ness from others. You know la, one ppl drive; semua oso follow drive! Like never drive car before. Sometimes self-sacrificial is needed.
I reach there around 7pm, went Jusco and ate our lunch with Fiona, Ryan, Fish & DC Ong. I committed to treat Fish & DC Ong coz they did help me out during the packing of over 500 pcs Forum Kit! Eat wat? Heh heh, i still remember... The FAKE Old Town called Dono wat Kopitiam. design exactly same. wTf!

I've bought myself a bracelet during the walk walk at Jusco, as Fiona told me it is nice. Haha!Then, We straight head toward Heritage Hotel for the meeting. bla bla bla.. I oso forget what i've spoken during meeting. After meeting, We, the same 5 ppls hang out again at night hawker stall finding makan. Called Boon Teong & Alan Woo and ask wether where they went, and wanted to join them for the mamak. Mana zai, they drive car like Speed Racer hoho. Zooooom, can't even see shadow d. So we ended up eat at somewhere nearby, the Hill Top Kopitiam. As i still remember the name coz the "Jiao Pai" sudah jatuh, and I take so long to see through wat is the name actually. After makan? Went back room 413, scary number 13.... Where i need to "gang bang" with 5 other guys. 6 persons in a room walao-eh. Me, Ryan, Allan, Boon Teong, Peng Hooi & Aik Chee. Wah.. all big size 1. Luckily no Si Sheng hehe..

Alright, 2nd day morning aka 1st day for delegates. My job as committee is to jaga counter of Forum Kit. Sat at the secretariat room like big boss and wait ppl to come and register their goods. Ngek ngek, the most opportunity to talk to girls :-P. Fiona, im loyal 1 k! Haha.. My job done until 12pm the time where team building event started. So i went over to Red crescent hall and be the station master. My station is called "anyone thirsty?", where i don even know how should i tell them to play actually. haha! Teng Yew suppose to bring 500 cups, but at last due to lack of cups the station had been canceled. So i went over to my neighbour station and help Sok Wah. The station called "Longest Line", hahaha! This station is so damn fun! All the delegates need to built a longest line by putting all the stuff on their body and line up in a Zig Zag shape on the floor. As i can see, most of the guy sure ended up by taking off their clothes and continue the line. Girl, scream!
Girl oso take off? Nola, siao meh. But i believe they oso gien gien wanna take off eh. Ha ha!
See that picture! Ipoh ppl so rich take out their notes of money and form line! GOSH!

Jerry so smart huh, take off shoe lace and form line.

thx KOK for all the pics from ur wife DSLR. hope to get the rest photo from you soon when free to entertain me hehe..

Kay, after team building. We went back to hotel bath and brush like the speed of light. Then went back to the Red Crescent Hall again for the fellowship night. Erm.. wat to say about fellowship night? Just eating buffet with other peoples, getting to know them, enjoy the District Grand Final Leo Idol 2008 and many of the stars attended! Danny One, Dina from Malaysia Idol, and Digi celebriteens... etc. Our mission for the night is "Siao" kao kao.

Gosh.. Can't believe I can type for so long.
Almost 1am now, its time to revision.
Okay, Leo Forum post part 1 end here.
Tomorrow will "Settle" you!

Hey guys, im finding the photos down stage during fellowship! Send me ya.
especially hot chick 1 !!

The Born of All Synapse

2008-06-04T23:53:00.016+08:00

billyloo.blogspot.com has been adopted since 4th June 2008 by Billy Loo at time 12am in the morning. Listed down for the super duper damn big things which are going to happen on earth!

It all begin since 2007, the time where I'm in semester 4. It might be kinda late for me to start realize that my life had changed after I step into a college life. I met new friends, environment, and living independently on the financial too. Looking ahead; to pursue a better life, I had to hold tight the bag of "BS". Not BullShit, its burden and stress.
Time pass by.. Struggled through the whole 6 semester, until now I've reach the final semester of my diploma studies.

It is June now, the time where I start worry about my degree studies.
Where should I study? What University? Am I suppose to continue? Am I qualify for the Uni. entry requirement? My parents can afford it? Should I apply UK or Australia? Fiona, will you come with me?
Well, all these "beneath surface's" questions just pop out from my mind suddenly.
I started to felt panic, worried and blank! Well, Panics typically occur in disaster situations, or violent situations. But it does happen to me, I can't asleep at night. I'll just sit down and think about what I've done. This will happen usually when i was blank, but this time it won't help either. I still don't know what to do BUT awaken me for what is really really really happens to me.

What happen? I don't even know what happens on me. And I really don't know what da hell is happening on me. True, the matter now is "I don't know about myself".
How could it be? I've putted down too much priority of concentration/focus on my studies. Or I can said so that I've forgotten to BE myself actually. Everyday wake up go college study, go home sleep. Repeatedly for everyday; Like a video tape forward and rewind. Even though I do hang out every weekend with Fiona, but Wheres the point? still Whats is wrong?
Afterall, I have the feelings like Michael Newman (Adam Sandler) had in the show - The Click. He struggle for his life about $ money. But when he was awaken on what he does, its was too late! Same for me, I should have appreciate more about my beloved one, friends, family, and time. So what is happening on me? I've been a stupidest man for the past few year, doing nothing meaningful to my life. And i didn't really appreciates enough everyone around me. Wake up now billy before your life ended! I Love u, Fiona.

Maybe is Me who take it too serious, who are so stubborn all the while.
Well, after the "self-thinking" issue on whats wrong with myself. Maybe i should talk back to the topic my further studies. At 2nd week on January, I went over to UPO (University Placement Office) at my college, who work to serve the students on their further studying routine. Shared with them about my financial problems, expectation, and possibilities. So i decided to apply to University of Hull at UK. After a week, they e-mailed me a conditional letter and said that I've been approved.
But i didn't felt happy at all, i was gonna leave. And i felt like i owe everyone something. I must do something to repay them! Whats wrong with me again? How am i gonna tell Fiona about it? I'd just went into blankness and turned on self-thinking mode. Gosh..
I thinks that i owe everyone because i didn't appreciate them in the past. I felt that my life shouldn't be in that way compared to secondary school, where i can have "plenty" of time to talk to my friends, play with them, and skip class as i wish :-P. Maybe for me to repay or care someone is to talk to them and share the joy. College life sux, how to share? I just felt like Zombie now who living without feeling. Hah, maybe its the symptoms when you are leaving the one you cared.

27th January at midnight, Fuh Yoh! Can't believe that i'll write myself a journal when i felt like pausing the time in my life. Once its written, i felt secure. Just like the purpose of writing this goddamn long post in my blog, Hah! Okay back to what i wanna say.
I've attended my reunion party with my ex schoolmates who are from the greatest school, GSS. We had our BBQ at Alison's apartment. Many of us were attended and we'll just "siao" like last time we use to be. We shared our college life's story & also the form six's story. They are my best old friends ever in my life. After meeting them, i felt so sad. C'mon, Whats wrong with you again billy.
Felt so so so hard to tell them about my further studies. I don wish them to know, as im leaving. I just want to have fun tonight without the gap of awful feeling! But at last, chinese idiom said : paper doesn't cover fire. They are my closest friend, i'll just share everything. I feel so bad for not telling them, so do i, i made it.
They wish me on my studying trip and lead my mind to the positive! Thx you all.
I'll definitely create another post about this. Too much to say about em' HAH! Fiona, i know u'll be curious about it. Ngek ngek

Alright! back on the topic of this post. What makes me feel to write this blog?
Stress-ness of leaving Malaysia soon when received news of approval at UK, to gain the so called "Time-Pausing" ability to make myself felt more secured. Like you reading something you wrote, u can recall back those feelings. To share with you all about my life before and after i went overseas. Fiona, i'm pretty sure you wish to know more about me; I did this for You my love.
Able to remind myself to appreciate everyone around me BUT not overwhelmed by desire. Cool-est words, make my life more meaningful with the aid this blog recording, before i really forgot. Else i'll go into blankness again, when i forgot something. Haha
Wow, this blog is helpful in stress relieving!!

What will you do when things happen, and it is too late?
Share with me.

synapse refer to the brain cell who work as the interface between memory and thinking.

without synapse, no memory, no action, no feelings, and don't have this BLOG!